Thursday, May 17, 2012

You Need to Know This!

Program Evaluation

Thirteen years ago, a group of twenty two boys, ages 11-17 attended the first San Diego Boys to Men weekend. A program evaluation consultant helped us develop a survey to evaluate the long-term effects of the Boys to Men program. These boys are now young men ages 21-27.

"I have become both a husband and father, and have learned how to be both responsible and accountable for my own actions. All this started with my first weekend."

77% say they were more prepared to deal with their own anger issues, and were able to build stronger relationships because of the Boys to Men Mentoring Program. "That just because my dad was not there for me does not mean that I have to suffer for it. I am going to be a better man than he is."

85% said they gained respect for both themselves and others, and still live by that belief, as they become men,husbands, and fathers.

"I learned how to control my emotions, how to forgive people and how to be a better person altogether. I want to be a nice man."

92% say they were more compassionate, and beganto consider the feelings of others more, thanks to their Boys to Menexperience.

"Wow was it really ten years ago. Boys to Men taught all of us about our options in life, and how to deal with our emotions. It was important to hear that the men there to help us had these same feelings at our age, and understood what we were going through. It helped us understand it was okay to open up to people, older men. It was great having someone there for me."

100% think that all boys should experience the Boys to Men program.

"I still hold on to the things I learned ten years ago. Boys to Men helped me keep the important values of life in focus. I have a big heart and live a healthy lifestyle. Boys to Men gave me the ability to have clarity in my life."

100% believe Boys to Men helped them become better men.

While this is a statistically small sample group, the evaluator was very impressed with the "extremely high" percentage of positive responses and the long-term retention of Boys to Men values and teachings.

This survey, combined with the more extensive data from the BarOn weekend evaluation (page 2) makes a compelling case that the Boys to Men program works, both in the short term, and more importantly, that it has a lasting, positive effect.

Itreally does "Help Boys become Better Men". 

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Boys to Men Weekend Evaluation

From the beginning we saw incredible, positive changes in the boys as they went through the BTM program. We knew we made a major impact on these boys and wanted to identify and measure these changes.

In 2003 we adopted the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQi): Youth Version as the standard instrument to measure the effectiveness of the Boys to Men Weekend.

The boys were given the EQi survey before and after the weekend. The results were amazing. The boys' scores on all scales increased, in some cases dramatically.

To date we have tested over 400 boys and continue to see proof that the Boys to Men weekend increases emotional intelligence, raises self esteem and empowers young men to make healthy choices.

What is EQ and Why Should You Care?

EQ is the acronym for Emotional Intelligence. So not only do you and I have an IQ (Intelligence Quotient), we also have emotional intelligence. Emotionalintelligence is not about traditional intelligence. It is about our ability to handle ourselves and others. It is all about our ability to get along with others and build relationships.

The most successful leaders also have a high degree of emotional intelligence.  And here is the great news; EQ (unlikeIQ) can be developed.

Emotionalintelligence: "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action."    Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer.

Research shows that emotional intelligence may actuallybe significantly more important than cognitive ability and technical expertise combined. In fact, some studies indicate that EQ is more than twice asimportant as standard IQ abilities. Further, evidence increasingly shows thatthe higher one goes in an organization, the more important EQ can be. For those in leadership positions, emotional intelligence skills account for close to 90percent of what distinguishes outstanding leaders from those judged as average.

A Mother's Story

"WOW. I am not sure what you did, but my son (James) came back a different person. His anger was gone and I could see peace in his eyes. He did not say much, he didn't have to. I cried tears of joy andhope as he told me about the weekend. I forgot what joy and hope felt like. Theonly tears I have cried in the past five years were despair. I know we havea long way to go, but I now feel that we have a much clearer path. THANK YOU!Thank you for giving me my son back"---Lori

Our Boys: Willie

Willie was eleven years old when he came to the Boys to Men weekend. His home life was violent and abusive. He suffered from physical and mental abuse for years. He seemed to be headed for disaster. He was in deep need of someone to listen, accept, and admire him.

His Own Words

Boys to Men has greatly effected my life in more ways that I could put on paper. Starting off at eleven years old feeling like I had no purpose, spending everyday filled with self hatred and misguided anger was hard because I was a lonely kid. At twelve years old I began digging my owngrave literally in the canyon behind my house because I felt no one loved me. The people who did love me didn't matter because I lacked love from my mother which was where I wanted it from the most. I ran away from all the help and guidance offered to me. But by luck Boys To Men intervening was the catalyst for a change in my life so dramatic my whole being was altered. They kept pursuing me because they saw what I could not .... my true potential. Under the cold shell that I presented they saw "Magician"and "Warrior" energy that I didn't even know existed. I began seeing people in their process of emotional growth and I was amazed. I feel like now after all of the trainings that I have staffed I can look a kid in eyes who is hurting and in need of some love and I can offer them my love, experience,and wisdom. I would tell that child that

"I know you are hurting and that is okay but you don't have to be strong anymore because I am here for you." I would relay the exact message that Boys to Men gave to me.

When he first came to BTM Willie would have been considered an incorrigible juvenile delinquent by many. Through his hard work in Boys toMen, he found new self-esteem and discovered his greatness. He has made positive changes in his life and now has lofty goals and ambitions.He is a shining example of how boys at risk can prosper and thrive if we give them the support they need and deserve.

How many more Willies are out there?

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