Group Mentoring Program Overview

In 2009, Boys to Men began an after school group mentoring program in San Diego targeting “at-risk” middle and high school school boys. Program elements include weekly site based meetings of mentors and boys, a 48-hour boy's rite-of-passage adventure weekend, and ongoing training and support for carefully selected and screened mentors.

The group aspect of the weekly meetings gives boys access to a variety of male role models. These mentors show up consistently, tell the truth about our struggles as men, ask the boys what kind of man they want to be, praise them for their unique gifts, support them when they screw up, and encourage them to become that good man they all want to be.

The weekly meetings combine learning, fun, leadership opportunities, peer mentoring and self-esteem building exercises. Every meeting begins with a mentor sharing his personal story about that week’s topic. He talks about the lessons he learned, and the long-term consequences of his actions. The mentor does not teach or lecture, he just tells his story. This gives the boys permission to share their stories.

Discussion Topics

• How does peer pressure affect you? Have you ever gone with the crowd to be accepted?
• What is your dream? What are you doing or not doing to achieve that dream?
• What kind of man do you want to be? What will you need to do to become that man?
• What masks do you wear to hide what is really going on inside you?
• What are you most proud of? What have you done that you are not proud of?
• Do you ever lie? Who do you lie to? What is the payback? Is it worth it?
• Have you ever been bullied or been the bully?

After 8 to 12 weeks of group meetings the boys and mentors are invited to attend the Rite of Passage Adventure Weekend (ROPA).This powerful weekend experience further deepens the trust, respect and connections between boys and their Mentors.

Program Safety: The safety of our boys is our first priority. Each potential mentor is interviewed and screened by BTM leadership and must pass a School District background check prior to his acceptance into the program. All mentors must attend the Reclaiming Your Teenage Fire Mentor Training. Experienced, trained BTM leaders facilitate this 24-hour residential training, the ROPA weekend, and all weekly mentoring sessions. The group mentoring aspect further adds to our program's safety by allowing us to monitor and evaluate the mentor's interactions with boys. We begin all trainings with a frank discussion about sexual predators and how important it is that the boys immediately report any concerns or inappropriate behavior to the weekend leaders.